I retire to my study, with a bottle of Schnapps

"Twenty eight," says Mick in the Tackle Shop. "Your mate's son's mate caught it. Can't say any more - they told me not to tell you."

I shrug this off, once MITTS confirms the identity of the mate whose son's mate landed fish concerned. I press on with Christmas shopping. Cue costly trip to King's Lynn with Mrs Norfolk N' Good.

We hit Tesco for a few last minute essentials on the way home. And there's my mate's son, whose mate caught it, in front of us at the check-out.

"Nice fish your mate had," I tell my mate's son whose mate caught it.

"We'll have to have a day out in the New Year," he says.

Pushing the trolley back to the car, I get a text from Rob: "Had a 24 ;-)."

I retire to my study, with a bottle of Schnapps.

I get another text, this time from the wife: "You're sulking, aren't you..."